You can’t assert innocence when your actions make you look shady. At what point do you say, whether as a friend or a lover, “I’m going to give you space so that you all can do what you need to do”? No, you might not owe the estranged wife anything, but why the urgency? It reeks of desperation. Not to mention, in the waiting period, closure can be found; for both parties. If there’s an arduous divorce with children involved, that guy that you’re trying to date needs a moment to heal, to collect himself and work out the relationship with the mother of his child before he gets into another relationship. Has he resolved his issues with women that may’ve arisen as a result of not only their divorce, but also by things that happened within the course of their relationship?
If it’s not recommended for a person to go from relationship to relationship, meaning one shouldn’t leave a five-year relationship and the next day pursue another, then why would that be any different from someone leaving a ten-year marriage or one dating back to his early teenage years?
Who are you really thinking about when you pursue these situations before letting them heal? Are you just focused on what you want, at any cost? If so, are you prepared to face the consequences that come with this behavior—some of which may include you being looked at and referred to as a homewrecker? What happened to, “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be”? Are you so desperate to have it now that you can’t wait for it to “be”?
Like I always say, “Learn to wait before you end up pregnant.” There is a season for everything. So, if there’s a season to be together and a season to be apart, there has to be a season to examine what was learned, lost and where to go from there. If not, how do you do better in the future? I know Hollywood has a different dating and moral code. But maybe, just maybe, this urgency is why it is so difficult to maintain relationships. You have to respect the season, the waiting period. If you do it right the first time, there’s nothing to clear up later. You don’t have to go back and assert innocence if you never tie yourself to the situation to begin with. The Good Book tells us to be self-controlled. I definitely think that’s a lesson to live by. Know better. Do better. Respect the waiting period.