Recently there was an article published about singer Rihanna in a Dutch magazine in which she was referred to as a “NiggaBitch.” Now, before you go getting all up in arms and making this a racial issue, which it’s not, let me finish explaining what happened. Apparently, the writer and editor of the magazine derived the term from “American music.” They first called it a joke, telling the singer and the audience not to be so “sensitive.” When Rihanna responded, the nail came down and it lead to the editor resigning. Now, you may be thinking, Great! That’s exactly what she needs to do! Well, I disagree.
There are so many things wrong with this whole debacle that it’s ridiculous. First of all, I don’t believe it’s a racial issue. I think Black people will make it a racial issue despite the fact that in the same breath they will tell you when they use the N-word it’s a term of endearment. Also, women who call each other bitches will tell you it’s a term of endearment. So why NOW is it a racial offense? If “nigga” is the equivalent of “homie” why be upset because a magazine called Rihanna one? If “bitch” is a loving term among women and something to be proud of like the songs “5 Star Bitch” (Yo Gotti) and “I’m a Bitch” (Alanis Morissette) suggest, then why are we angry?
But beyond that, it boggles the mind why a woman who refers to herself as a “Cunt”—even walking around with the matching necklace—would be upset because someone calls her a “NiggaBitch.” Is it because it was in a well-read magazine? Is it because it was a white person? I don’t get it. She goes around cooning on camera and on stage but then she’s upset to be called a “nigga.” The reality is, not only were these words picked up by American culture/Black music, but they’re appropriate. The writers were probably wondering, What do you call a woman in jean panties, fishnet stockings and high heels, with gold teeth and a pimp cane that’s constantly writhing around simulating masturbation? Hmm...well rappers would call her a bitch...and because she’s so “down,” we’ll call her a nigga.
I don’t see this as a racial issue because I don’t think this magazine would refer to Beyonce as a NiggaBitch, nor would they refer to Michelle Obama as one. I just think it’s time to take a cold hard look at what we put out. Rihanna doesn’t garner respect. She’s sexed up (x-ed up) and doesn’t want to be respected; she’s quick to let folks know she’s not a role model.
Racism does exist, but so does ignorance in “American culture/the Black community.” We okayed the words “nigga” and “bitch” so we shouldn’t be upset when they’re used against us. You can’t put these words (and coon-energy) into the universe and not expect people to label you with it. If you want to be upheld with the highest respect, then start acting respectable. If you want to be called something other than “NiggaBitch” quit calling each other “niggas” and “bitches” and quit acting like ‘em. Guess these words aren’t so endearing after all, are they?
Today I sat in church reflecting on my life this time last year. Last year today, was my birthday; I started the day by helping out the youth ministry, sold a few books and then enjoyed St. Johns Downtown’s Christmas show, which was downright amazing! There was great music and dancing. I had the birthday money-pin and received well over a $100. Then I left church and met up with my friends. I went to a friend’s house for brunch where she had prepared a lovely spread of chicken wings, pancakes, mimosas and more. It wasn’t just the fantastic food that made it great, it was the company I was with. That group of friends I have in Houston is A-MAZE-ZING! They’re a concoction of singers, writers, preachers, teachers and just downright good people. I’ve never seen anyone grind as hard as these people did and still do.
This year, I don’t have the luxury of being in Houston attending my wonderful church home or interacting with a hodgepodge of people I’ve come to love over the last four years. I don’t even have the opportunity to be home in Oklahoma playing with my babies, singing and cooning with my beautiful sisters or dining with my awesome friends. But that’s not what stands out to me. What stands out to me is that I have a peace I didn’t have last year. Last year I was high-strung about how to sell books and how to make money. My faith wasn’t nearly as strong as it is now. 2011 has been one hell of a year for me, but oh what a difference a year makes!
I’ve grown in ways I never knew possible. I’ve learned to control myself and my interaction with people who can potentially set me off; I’ve learned to adapt to any situation; I’ve learned to let go of the past—to take each day and live in it—and most importantly, I’ve learned to “Be still and KNOW” (Psalms 46:10).
I like a good party—especially one in my honor lol—just like the next man. I love being around my family and friends and I want to be successful as an author, editor and whatever else God has in store for me. However, there is no price tag for increased faith in God or His peace. So, what will I do in The-Middle-of-Nowhere, GA? I don’t know. But I do know, it’s my day, one the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Let the church say...
Oh what a difference a year makes!
The Birthday Girl