Ladies, if he’s cheated and he’s NOT your husband…leave. You’re not going to forgive him, trust will not be regained, and it will tarnish the rest of your relationship. So you end up going through mess for what? Your boyfriend? That’s not a real commitment. If y’all decide to break up tomorrow, there won’t be any splitting of property. You’re going to walk away with the bedroom suit you bought and he’ll walk out with his “J’s,” tv, and video games.
Many men believe they will do better when they get married. They’ll cheat on their “girlfriends” but not their “wives.” Think I’m lying? Ask one. The problem with this fallacy is that it doesn’t take into account that “practice makes perfect.” Lebron can’t miss every free throw in practice, but say, “I’ll wait ‘til I get in the game to make them.” Additionally, these same monogamously-impaired men don’t want to commit; aren’t ready for marriage. So, you stick it out with him and his cheating ways and when he gets serious about being ready to commit, you may not be who he decides to do that with. This isn’t to say that married women don’t get cheated on, because they do, it’s just a question to your motivation. What does it benefit you to stay in a troubled relationship when you may not even make the final cut?
There has to be a distinct delineation between desperation and standards. As it stands right now, the two are archenemies. Desperate people don’t have standards; people with standards don’t act out of desperation. If you wonder why your relationship still sucks although you’re giving your all: you cook, clean, sex, buy him stuff, help with the kids, pay his car note, hang out with his family, all to no avail, it’s because he’s not your husband. Men and women take marriage seriously, hence the reason it takes so long and requires such contemplation before most people choose to commit to it.
You don’t have to read Steve Harvey’s book to know that if you’ve been with a guy at or over five years and y’all aren’t married you probably won’t be. Sounds harsh, but it’s true. Money—or the lack thereof—is not a good excuse, if it were, he’d be single. Going to school is not a good excuse, if it were…he’d be single. How can a man live with you or commit to be in a relationship with you still needing to perfect his career and needing more money but can’t commit to marriage because of those same reasons? That’s game.
If you’re trying to be more than a dysfunctional couple, get some standards; get on the same page. Where is this going? What do both of you want? How soon? What needs to be done to make that happen? If you can’t see eye-to-eye on these, stop wasting your time. Going through things doesn’t make your non-marital relationship stronger; it just means you’ve been through a lot of ***
Establish some boundaries and live by them. If he can’t or won’t commit, he’s not the one. Quit giving your boyfriend husband benefits.
Good luck and God speed.
♥♥♥ Live, love, laugh! ♥♥♥